Modern psychology informs us that there are two responses to a crisis. The first response, in the extreme, is total denial. In denial, the crisis which forces a radical change of behavior, is not real. Those who respond to crisis in this way truly believe that the crisis does not exist. No matter what the evidence, the crisis is not real. Denial often occurs during the long illness of a loved one.
The second response to crisis, in the extreme, is total devastation. In this response, individuals become so overwhelmed by the crisis that they cannot function. The severity of devastation makes it difficult to get out of bed. Individuals have just enough energy to sit in front of a window and stare into empty space. Decisions cannot be made. We label this response depression.
When a crisis happens, most of us find ourselves somewhere in between total denial and total devastation. We want to deny what is happening to us and at the same time feel overwhelmed by what we know is happening. It is as if we bounce back and forth, like a ping-pong ball, between the two extremes.
The Gospel offers a third response to crisis. The Gospel never asks any individual to deny the pain and internal suffering that accompanies crisis. The Gospel admits that denial, anger, bargaining with God, depression, and finally acceptance are all part of the normal process of dealing with a crisis. The Gospel never asks us to make believe we are immune from pain and suffering. After all, Jesus wept over the grave of his friend Lazarus at his death in Bethany. Jesus’ example gives us permission to have all of these feelings when we are experiencing crisis. These feelings are not a contradiction to our faith.
The Gospel’s option to crisis is hope. Hope, in theological terms, is the certainty that something will happen. I am amazed at how many times God reaches into the pit of crisis to lift us up. Psalm 103 reminds us that God “forgives our iniquity, ... redeems our life from the pit, and crowns with steadfast love and mercy.” I am also reminded of the last verse of 1 Corinthians 15, the great resurrection chapter, “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain.” While acknowledging the devastating pain of crisis, we, as Christians, do not allow that pain to overcome us. In the face of crisis, we continue to believe in and do what God has called us to do.
I write this blog as we prepare for the funeral of Kay Wean. Kay was truly a saint at Epiphany. Her death is just one of the crises Epiphany has had to face in the recent past. There will be some who will say we should just move on as if nothing has happened (denial). There will be others who will be paralyzed by Kay’s death (devastation). But then there is the Gospel with its certainty of resurrection to eternal life. There is the book of Revelation which offers hope of life in heaven without pain or suffering. Finally, there is the admonishment that in the face of mourning the death of a saint we can continue to do what God has called us to do. We who claim Jesus as Lord know that our options are not limited to denial or devastation. Rather, we have the option of hope that allows - encourages - us to continue to do what we were called to do.
Pastor Pete
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Calling A New Senior Pastor
Calling a new senior pastor is like building a house. When you build a house you hire an architect to design the house. Once you decide what type of house you want, you hire a general contractor to build the house. Construction starts with digging the basement. Then, you wait for the footers to be poured, the basement walls built upon the footers, and finally the basement slab is poured. Then you wait for the carpenters to put on the decking, build walls with 2x4 studs, and put the the trusses up for the roof. Then you wait for the electricians to pull the wires and the plumbers to install pipes. Then you wait for workers to hang drywall. Then you wait for the taping of the drywall. Then you wait for the ceilings and walls to be painted. Then you wait for the cabinets to be hung, and the finishing carpenters to put up moulding. All of this can be slowed down by inspections. Finally, you get a permit of occupancy - no more waiting.
In the calling of a senior pastor, the architect is the Church Council. The Council determines what attributes the new senior pastor needs to have. Then it draws up a congregational profile and a vision describing what Epiphany will look like 10 years from now. The Council has worked on these plans and hopefully they will be given to the Call Committee by its June 30th meeting.
The call committee serves as the general contractor in this process. It receives the plans from the Church Council and discusses them. The Committee may even ask for some clarification from the Council. It should be noted that the Call Committee has had its initial meeting with Pastor Ed Williams, the bishop’s assistant who will oversee the call process for the Synod.
While all of this is occurring, Pastor Williams has been looking for likely candidates to be senior pastor at Epiphany. The Bishop has asked him to gather information on senior pastors and associate pastors serving congregation worshiping 700+ per weekend.
The Call Committee contacts Pastor Williams and gives him the congregation’s profile and vision. Pastor Williams takes that material and compares it with potential candidate information. In this process, Pastor Williams looks for possible matches.
At this point the Call Committee waits for Pastor Williams to identify potential candidates. When Pastor Williams identifies potential candidates, he has to contact their bishop and ask for permission to talk to those candidates about coming to Epiphany. There may be some more waiting for bishops to respond to inquiries about candidates.
If a bishop gives permission to contact a candidate and the candidate is willing to consider a call to Epiphany, the Call Committee contacts the candidate. If the initial contact goes well, the Call Committee may visit the candidate at his or her church. The Committee may invite the candidate to Centerville. Or, the Committee may choose a different strategy to discern if the potential candidate and Epiphany will be a good match for each other. All of this takes time and waiting.
In this process, there will be times when it looks like a lot is happening just as there are times it appears the builders of a house are making great progress. At other times, it will seem as if nothing is happening. When it seems as if nothing is happening, we will have to remind ourselves that the Synod and the Call Committee are doing their job to bring a new senior pastor to Epiphany.
Pastor Pete
In the calling of a senior pastor, the architect is the Church Council. The Council determines what attributes the new senior pastor needs to have. Then it draws up a congregational profile and a vision describing what Epiphany will look like 10 years from now. The Council has worked on these plans and hopefully they will be given to the Call Committee by its June 30th meeting.
The call committee serves as the general contractor in this process. It receives the plans from the Church Council and discusses them. The Committee may even ask for some clarification from the Council. It should be noted that the Call Committee has had its initial meeting with Pastor Ed Williams, the bishop’s assistant who will oversee the call process for the Synod.
While all of this is occurring, Pastor Williams has been looking for likely candidates to be senior pastor at Epiphany. The Bishop has asked him to gather information on senior pastors and associate pastors serving congregation worshiping 700+ per weekend.
The Call Committee contacts Pastor Williams and gives him the congregation’s profile and vision. Pastor Williams takes that material and compares it with potential candidate information. In this process, Pastor Williams looks for possible matches.
At this point the Call Committee waits for Pastor Williams to identify potential candidates. When Pastor Williams identifies potential candidates, he has to contact their bishop and ask for permission to talk to those candidates about coming to Epiphany. There may be some more waiting for bishops to respond to inquiries about candidates.
If a bishop gives permission to contact a candidate and the candidate is willing to consider a call to Epiphany, the Call Committee contacts the candidate. If the initial contact goes well, the Call Committee may visit the candidate at his or her church. The Committee may invite the candidate to Centerville. Or, the Committee may choose a different strategy to discern if the potential candidate and Epiphany will be a good match for each other. All of this takes time and waiting.
In this process, there will be times when it looks like a lot is happening just as there are times it appears the builders of a house are making great progress. At other times, it will seem as if nothing is happening. When it seems as if nothing is happening, we will have to remind ourselves that the Synod and the Call Committee are doing their job to bring a new senior pastor to Epiphany.
Pastor Pete
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Raising Children Today
I once said to my mother, “You had an easier time raising me than I had raising my daughter Amy and son Pete.” My mother looked at me as if I was crazy. To put my statement and her response into context, my mother had worn a valley in the sidewalk between our apartment house and the elementary school that I attended. She was on a first name basis with the principal of my school. It was as if she and the principal had an on going coffee hour to discuss my behavior. How could I possibly suggest that I had a more difficult challenge than she did?
What prompted my comment was the fact that when I was a boy I heard the same message wherever I went. My pastor preached the same morals and behaviors as my school teachers and my parents’ friends. Right was right and wrong was wrong. There were no gray areas in morals, behaviors, or life. In contrast, as Joyce and I raised our children there were a lot of gray areas. What I preached from the pulpit and Joyce taught when she debriefed the children after school was not repeated by my children’s teachers. I remember shaking my head over a required high school course on family living in our school district. Every teacher who taught that course had an unhappy or broken marriage. My children had close friends whose parents totally disagreed with our values. My children lived in a world where there was no common agreement among adults as to what was right and wrong. To my way of thinking, this made raising children a much more difficult task.
I often think about how much more difficult it is for my children to raise our grandchildren. Our society has no common value system; each family decides what is right or wrong for themselves. The outside pressures, such as organized sports and the drive for success, are overwhelming today. Added to this is easy access to the internet and all that it has to offer including things that Joyce and I would call immoral. In my more rational moments, I believe my children have a much more difficult time raising their children than Joyce and I had raising them.
The above reflection comes after witnessing our granddaughter, Megan, and grandson, Ben, being confirmed this spring. In spite of all outside pressures to do otherwise, these two teenagers attended confirmation classes, studied and learned the faith, and were willing to stand in front of a congregation and say, “I believe.” As a grandfather, not a pastor, I was very proud and pleased with this milestone of faith.
As I sit and write this blog, I want to say well done to every parent who has had the courage to say faith is important, so important that we will miss that soccer game or little league game because we are going to worship God this morning. I want to say well done to every parent and grandparent who makes the effort to say grace at meals because you are teaching the faith when you bow your heads and fold your hands. I want to say well done to every parent and grandparent because you are a role model when you talk about giving of your time and financial resources as a response to what God has already given to you through Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection.
Finally, it is a humbling experience to watch your grandchildren being confirmed. I believe every parent of a confirmand at Epiphany knows the same humbling and joyful feeling that comes when hands are laid upon a confirmand’s heard. So today, my hat is off to every parent and grandparent who has cared enough to witness to their faith in a world that offers so many options to what God gives to us in his grace and love.
Pastor Pete
What prompted my comment was the fact that when I was a boy I heard the same message wherever I went. My pastor preached the same morals and behaviors as my school teachers and my parents’ friends. Right was right and wrong was wrong. There were no gray areas in morals, behaviors, or life. In contrast, as Joyce and I raised our children there were a lot of gray areas. What I preached from the pulpit and Joyce taught when she debriefed the children after school was not repeated by my children’s teachers. I remember shaking my head over a required high school course on family living in our school district. Every teacher who taught that course had an unhappy or broken marriage. My children had close friends whose parents totally disagreed with our values. My children lived in a world where there was no common agreement among adults as to what was right and wrong. To my way of thinking, this made raising children a much more difficult task.
I often think about how much more difficult it is for my children to raise our grandchildren. Our society has no common value system; each family decides what is right or wrong for themselves. The outside pressures, such as organized sports and the drive for success, are overwhelming today. Added to this is easy access to the internet and all that it has to offer including things that Joyce and I would call immoral. In my more rational moments, I believe my children have a much more difficult time raising their children than Joyce and I had raising them.
The above reflection comes after witnessing our granddaughter, Megan, and grandson, Ben, being confirmed this spring. In spite of all outside pressures to do otherwise, these two teenagers attended confirmation classes, studied and learned the faith, and were willing to stand in front of a congregation and say, “I believe.” As a grandfather, not a pastor, I was very proud and pleased with this milestone of faith.
As I sit and write this blog, I want to say well done to every parent who has had the courage to say faith is important, so important that we will miss that soccer game or little league game because we are going to worship God this morning. I want to say well done to every parent and grandparent who makes the effort to say grace at meals because you are teaching the faith when you bow your heads and fold your hands. I want to say well done to every parent and grandparent because you are a role model when you talk about giving of your time and financial resources as a response to what God has already given to you through Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection.
Finally, it is a humbling experience to watch your grandchildren being confirmed. I believe every parent of a confirmand at Epiphany knows the same humbling and joyful feeling that comes when hands are laid upon a confirmand’s heard. So today, my hat is off to every parent and grandparent who has cared enough to witness to their faith in a world that offers so many options to what God gives to us in his grace and love.
Pastor Pete
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Psalm 8 paraphrased
I spend each morning reciting psalms, reading scripture, and praying. Every now and then I am moved to paraphrase a psalm. Since Pentecost is this coming weekend, it seems appropriate to think about God's gift to us; namely, the church. Following is my interpretation of Psalm 8 written by a pastor in the 21st century.
O LORD, our LORD, how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory above the heavens. Out of the mouths of adult and children choirs your praise is chanted. You have founded the church to silence those who say that you do not exist.
When I look at your people, the work of your fingers, the congregations that you have established; what are pastors and laity that you are mindful of them, your servants that you care for them? Yet you have made them a little less than God, and crowned them with faithfulness and sainthood. You have given them dominion over your purpose and vision; you have put your sacraments and ministry under their administration, and you have made them your story tellers and representatives, to assume Jesus’ ministry to the ends of the earth.
O LORD, our LORD, how majestic is your name in all the earth!
Pastor Pete
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